Monro

2008-11-07T09:44:00.002Z

I haven't been updating this...and my head is hung in shame!! The last couple of week have been really good....I feel happy and positive about stuff :)

Bonfire night on Wednesday with wyatt was amazing and if you look at his blog he has a video on the which is MINT lol. Unfortunately i'm working both days this weekend and as yet haven't made any plans to go out :( but there's still time yet to make some hehe. I've got my fingers crossed that i might be getting a laptop today from my dads company, it will be old but hopefully he wont want much for it and it will do the job :) also my mum is going to buy a new car tomorrow which means another one on the drive for me to steal when i dont want to drive mine lol....so i'm quite excited about the next couple of days and the new stuff that we are getting!

aaaannnnnnddddd.....ITS ONLY 7 WEEKS TILL CHRISTMAS......YAAAYYYYY

TFI Fraiday!

2008-10-24T10:14:00.002+01:00

At last Friday has come...it seems that when you work 7 days a week it all blurrs into one but Friday is still distinguishable...and i'm glad its here lol! The last couple of days have been totally uneventful, I spent yesterday in a different area at work which has made me feel a bit more positive about working for Corus but thats probably the most interesting thing i have to report (yes, really. this week has been boring haha). I'm not planning on doing much work today as I really can't be bothered and no one says anything is i dont...so whats the point? Considering going to Dempseys for a couple of drinks tonight with Wyatt, Russel, Patrick and Danny (Wyatts new prospective Mr Right) but I shall see how I feel later....Unfortunately my Marky is working untill late :( so its up to me to entertain myself! I'm really enjoying spending time with him since we have been back together (not that I didnt before, of course I did then, I'm just noticing it more now) and have to admit that on days when I dont see him, I miss him alot.

Anyways, I'm working for Russel tomorrow so that should be another £50 in my pocket...YAY. Then I'm working in the picture framers on sunday, its less money (£30) but it gives me some variety during the working 7 days a week lol. Then on Monday I have booked a day off work and Marky and myself are going to Alton towers for the day....I'm not that bothered myself, just wanted a day out more than anything, but I knew that he wanted to go so I suggested it :) However, bit of an ulterior motive, It means i get to go to Lincoln Christmas market next month and he'll have to grin and bare it hahaha!

The Beatles got it right...'All you need is love'

2008-10-22T08:43:00.004+01:00

1 whole week later....im shocking!!!

I looks like i'm going to be updating my blog with 'chunks' of my life as apposed to a day by day account, which wasn't really the intention :-S but its better than nothing.

Last week was interesting, Climax on Friday night (the gay night at Sheffield Hallam university) I got very drunk, very quickly, and started to 'text' Mark...the upshot of the night was that he came to get me at about 2:00 in the morning after he finished work and took me home. It felt like a scene from a film as he stood there in the dark looking all desheveled from work and I walked out dressed up for the night, but very teary, he smiled at me and we hugged. As is usually the case when i've had a drink on top of feeling down, I cried all the way home, but it felt amazing to hold him and feel him holding me...I felt safe and loved again.

I can't remeber much else clearly and what I can has probably been distorted by the vodka...but on Saturday morning we talked and decided we should be together...so far we are both happy with that decision and I really hope it works out, no doubt it will be hard and we will both have to change a little. Ultimately I love him and thats the most important thing....money and situations are moving down the priority list!

I worked for Russel on Saturday and Sunday, earning myself some much needed pennies ;) and on Sunday Wyatt was there also, at first things were a little awkward but once I had left he got in touch and everything is good between us now....i'm glad about that as i think we'll be good friends.

Monday and Tuesday have been pretty lazy and relaxed...i've eaten far too much and done too little but it'll be rate! Today after what will undoubtedly be another boring day at work, i'm going to see my Dad and Stepmum for the first time in months!! (woops) lol

Tired

2008-10-15T19:19:00.004+01:00

Well, after being out on the town every night for a week, i am finally having a night in! Dont think i've had much more than 4 hours sleep per night and if I'm honest I do feel pretty shocking! The biggest problem is living miles out of Sheffield and working in Rotherham so i spend half my life driving...unlike those who live and work/study in town...its so much easier for them to be out all the time..gggrrr. Anyways, rant over im going to bed soon! Last night I went to the lgbt meeting which was quite frankly pathetic but then went out drinking with Laura (from school) Kate (she works with mark) and Dean, he's a really decent guy...we've been talking via text and net for ages and seen eachother out but never really 'met up' and the 4 of us had a really good night :) Mark was in Dempseys and it was a little awkward but he's been texting me today and i think we are going to be friends, i'm going to leave this topic at that.

Today i've been to Lincoln with work on a plant visit to a customer and it was very boring to say the least...i't didnt help me being so tired tho i must say! It got me thinking about whether this job is ever going to be right for me and at the moment i think not...but dont know what else to do :-S for the time being however, it pays the bills and the rest is food for thought. Finally got my car washed and cleaned inside this eve, sounds sad but its cheered me up no end :) now im off to bed...Zzzz

Dreaming

2008-10-14T11:35:00.003+01:00

Unfortunately, due to the busy life that i seem to be leading all of a sudden....maintaining my blog as I intended has been impossible...Woops!! However, after a very drunken weekend along with working 7 days i'm absolutely exhausted :-S i can't believe i've been out every night..its so unlike me..or at the least the old me. Last night I went to see 'Mirrors' at the cinema with a friend from school that I had lost touch with for just over a year, we got on really well; enjoyed the film, talked alot and I won her at 2/3 games of pool...Minted :-P

As for me, I still dont feel that great and i'm having alot of mood swings, strange dreams and i'm thinking about the same things over and over again. However, by keeping myself busy, making the most of my friendships and trying to think positive I'm sure that i'm getting there now...but it has been hard. Tonight i have been asked to go to an lgbt society thing at the university with a couple of people so I'll see what that's like, not sure it'll be my thing but I shall of course let you know how it goes. Roll on Friday for Climax me thinks ;)

Country pub

2008-10-09T14:36:00.005+01:00

Although i got about 9 hours sleep last night, I've felt really lathargic again today! I think everything is catching up with me, all the drama and emotion of the last few weeks along with the sleep deprevation! It's been a boring day at work but hopefully i should have a nice night ahead...I mentioned to Wyatt last night that we could go to a country pub for our tea, something a bit different and he has arranged it with Russel so thats my plan for this evening :) unfortunately today however i have not resisted temptation and eaten far too much already so i think i shall be having a light meal later on!!
Bit of good news is that Wyatt has changed his working hours next Saturday which means that we can to to Climax at the student union on the Friday night....so thats given me something to look forward to :-)
Still no word from Mark and although i have alot of thoughts going around in my head...im convinced that i've done the right thing...its for the best...and as for me, time will heal the wounds and stop the thoughts.

Starting Over

2008-10-08T21:19:00.004+01:00

After the end of my relationship with Mark yesterday of 6 months (with a couple of break-ups in the middle on his part) I am moving on to bigger and better things. He text me asking me to never speak to him and that's probably best for now, although I think we will probably be friends in the future.

I do believe that we loved each other in some ways but we are completely different people and want different things so it would just never work. Luckily for me I'm much less dependant on a boyfriend now that I've met 2 people who I really consider to be true friends...something I've not had much experience of in the past. My friendship with Wyatt and Russel has given me a feeling of strength, freedom, Independence and most of all having fun and enjoying myself! So tonight I will be getting some sleep...as I'm shattered and my head needs a rest ...then tomorrow the new me is coming out of his shell :) Being single for a bit might be a good plan.